Let's Talk About Sex

If I were to pinpoint the one issue on which American Christianity has the least power, sex would be that issue.

Let's face it, what image do American Christians present to the public about sex? Is it captivating, alive, beautiful, dangerous, and free? Does it have the power to bring new life into the world through an act of love? Does it stir in the Christian heart desires far too deep and overwhelming for words?

It should . . . but it doesn't.

I read Every Man's Battle, one of those "must reads" for every Christian male (and apparently every Christian female as well--there is now an Every Woman's Battle, available on the same shelf as Every Man's Battle in most Christian bookstores). I was enthralled for a while--after all, I was becoming more open to Christ, and I had realized that my approach to sexuality was, to say the very least, unhealthy--but the authors' legalism, the "bouncing the eyes" and all of the other tricks that were "guaranteed" to eliminate the Christian man's problems with lust, seemed a bit cold to me. Today, after 2 years of marriage, it seems downright heartless and cruel.

Come on, men. When's the last time you ever saw a woman shrink back in horror at the prospect of a man admiring her legs, her eyes, and (dare I say) other parts of her body? You husbands out there, have you ever thought that your wife would reject you for ogling her breasts, her curves, her loveliness?

Ladies, I know that you are not at all averse to beauty in men. After all, there is a reason why most men try to work out as much as they can when they are in their teens and twenties, and it is not simply because they need basic strength for their careers.

However, the legalism of American Christianity seems to be saying that you have to avoid all expressions of heartfelt desire, longing, and love for other people, even if those people are of the opposite sex.

And eventually, if you're "bouncing the eyes" whenever you look at someone of the opposite sex, isn't there a risk that you might just "bounce the eyes" whenever you look at your husband/wife? More importantly, if you're single, isn't there a risk that you might "bounce the eyes" once too often, missing the man/woman the Lord wants you to marry just because he/she's "too attractive?"

Is it any wonder that the same church that produces books like Every Man's Battle has a divorce rate that exceeds the divorce rate among secular American couples?

Sex was meant to be a lot of things, ladies and gentlemen.

Boring is not one of them.

I am not saying that Christians should abandon their standards, act like the world, or shack up with as many people as they can in order to experience the joy, passion, and love of sex; however, I AM saying that if Christians are going to have ANY traction on this issue, they are going to have to leave their legalism at the door. We live in a society where people are looking for LOVE any way they can, and sometimes that leads people into situations that do not fit the stereotypical Christian norm. I am not saying that all of those situations are right, but I AM saying that most of them are motivated, at a core level, by a desire for love. If Christians cannot keep this simple truth in mind when they interact with people outside their subculture, we will lose several generations to an atheistic culture that says sex is simply biological, with no designer, and no rules. And we will DESERVE to lose them.

Over the next few weeks, I'm going to post an in-deptb study of sex, and we will see what the Bible REALLY has to say about this very fundamental aspect of human life. Is it really supposed to be as boring as Christians make it out to be? Is there no room for exploration or excitement? I think that some of the answers to these questions will be shocking, liberating, and (potentially) explosive.