G.I.Joe: The Revenge of G.I.Joe

This cartoon movie was essentially the finale of the G.I.Joe cartoon series that flourished in the 1980's era of toy/cartoon marketing. The whole purpose of the cartoon series, of course, was to advertise a line of toys and action figures under the G.I.Joe trademark, and as such, the series worked well. However, aside from the commercialistic aspects of the show, which were good enough reason for any responsible parent to avoid it, the series had a few other issues which made (and still make) it particularly troublesome for Christian parents.

I very much believe in Paul's words in Roman 13, that Christians are to respect their government in whatever lands they live, and as such, I have no problem with my nation's government--or ANY nation's government--protecting its citizens from outside threats through force of arms. However, there is a difference between accepting what, for any believer, should be a simple fact of life and teaching my children (or anyone else) to kill, to maim, and to assault others. The bottom line is that, for all its patriotism, G.I.Joe is a show in which characters shoot each other, fire missiles at each other, and bomb each other--without casualties. Jet pilots bail out at the last minute before their planes go down, sailors jump off patrol boats as they explode, and no one leaves a firefight with as much as a hangnail. This is a major problem, because it teaches children that (1) violence is fun (a lesson that I believe any Christian should never want his or her children to learn) and (2) that violence does not have any serious consequences. These are lessons which can have dreadful consequences in the lives of children, and they can lead to even more dreadful consequences in the lives of others. A boy who grows up with no sense that violence is dangerous, that it irreparably damages both its victims and their families, will become an immense danger both to himself and to others.

With that in mind, let's consider the premise of the movie which serves effectively as the series finale. Once again, we have the 2 factions (G.I.Joe, representing America's military superstructure, and C.O.B.R.A., a transnational army with designs on global domination) duking it out, except that this time, it appears that a secret civilization buried beneath the Arctic for thousands of years has decided to lend C.O.B.R.A. a hand. In essence, they have been using COBRA to wage a secret war against the human race (COBRA Commander, as it turns out, is one of these aliens), because, in their view, we are barbarians who use clunky machines in imitation of the biological technology of their species. There are two problems here (aside from the fact that COBRA Commander, after being condemned to a slow death of genetic mutation by his own brethren, becomes a good guy--wasn't this the same COBRA Commander who, in the FIRST G.I.Joe movie (the MASS Device) ruled a nation of mind-controlled slaves and conducted barbarous "gladiator" contests in which slaves fought to the death?):

1. If the aliens were so dependent on biological technology, why couldn't they have dominated the human race, even from the Arctic? (One has only to imagine giant squids flying through the skies to see that biological technology is superior to anything man's cutting, welding, and designing skills have managed to create.)

2. More importantly, the entire plot of the movie is based on a Darwinian premise--that species grow and evolve in order to perpetuate their own existence. This is a fine theory, and it is well-taught in most of our public schools, but the premise of the movie is one which a Christian cannot except for a simple reason: By its very nature, Christianity must accept as a general premise that human beings are CREATED. If we simply evolved from a more animal-like form, then every tenet of Christianity--our accountability to God, sin, redemption--falls like dominoes under the weight of man's own adaptability. We become, in essence, our own judges, the authors and finishers of our own existence, unable to call on an outside source to help us make sense of ourselves. In short, we become . . . lost, without hope. The whole problem I have with evolution as a Christian (aside from the fact that it is perfectly ridiculous to expect a species that can bench press 300 pounds to want to become a race of intelligent, but physically weak, beings) is that it leaves its adherents without hope. After all, why should we want to "evolve" into more mature, more responsible beings if we can, by brute strength, get what we want from the backs of others? Why should we care about little things like children or babies or sick people if evolution is the principle by which we guide our existence? Most importantly, if we are the masters of our physical (and metaphysical) fates, then on what basis can we justify ANY depth of morality as something other than the whim of chance, fortune, and powerful men and women? These are questions which I would hope any Christian would ask whenever the subject comes up, and they are studiously NOT asked when they are introduced in children's television programs such as G.I.Joe. After all, in a struggle between humans and another, ancient species, we see, in the end, that it is the species with the most strength and the best weapons that wins in the end--even if those attributes are cloaked in patriotism and clarion cries of "Yo Joe!"